He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
