Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
