My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
