did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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