Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
