That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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