Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
