so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize