why didn't you poke me back
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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