it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You were trust falling into bushes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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