i will never coherently bang her
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is the high leading the old right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
