Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
