Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
