I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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