just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
