We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
vagina is talking i cant
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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