Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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