I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i think i just lost a toe
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
