so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
