Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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