I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
