She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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