I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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