There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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