did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
