I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
