we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
