How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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