dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
