im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
