Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
