when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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