All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
id be glad to
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
