That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
