Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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