She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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