I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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