Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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