I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize