Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
