Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
