i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
