Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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