you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
