I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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