Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
