Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
