the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
