apparently the secret to your success is patron
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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