Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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