that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
