Umm I'm too high to move.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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