let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
