We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize