Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
