i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
