I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
