smell my finger.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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