This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize